have courage

thugkitchen: trying out new recipes and shit Lindsay…

Thu, 16 May 2013 12:31:39 -0500

trying out new recipes and shit

Lindsay…

thugkitchen: Take a gander at this shit right here, it’s an MRI...

Thu, 16 May 2013 12:30:51 -0500

Take a gander at this shit right here, it’s an MRI of broccoli.

Broccoli contains a fucking ridiculously high amount of potassium, which maintains a boss nervous system and keeps your brain at the top of it’s game.

thugkitchen: No lie, it’s been a while since a thug has been in...

Thu, 16 May 2013 12:30:06 -0500

thugkitchen:

No lie, it’s been a while since a thug has been in the kitchen. So I log into the tumblrverse today to check my shit, maybe dust off the dash and get some new content out. Son, I’ve got a TON of fucking messages (I’m going to try to reply to them all, I promise) and I’m seeing my shit posted all over the god damn place.

I’m glad all you healthy/sexy mother fuckers kept the kitchen warm while I was away. I’m officially back and stepping up my game. Seriously, all the love I’ve got from my followers makes me want to post the best content I can for you. Thug Kitchen undergoing reconstruction as of right now. I’m so fucking heated right now. Shit.

Vegan as fuck, son

thugkitchen: THERE’S SO MUCH GOD DAMN SPINACH in this shit even...

Thu, 16 May 2013 12:29:20 -0500

thugkitchen:

THERE’S SO MUCH GOD DAMN SPINACH in this shit even Popeye can’t hate. Yeah spinach makes you swoll as fuck, we know that. But did you know just one cup of spinach is over 300% of your daily recommended Vitamin A? Sweet fuck. You worried about acne? Wrinkles? Any other skin shit? Spinach to the mother fucking rescue. That shit keeps your skin looking so fresh and so clean, not to mention helping to prevent skin cancer. Spinach has these plant-based compounds called “flavonoids” that not only repair damaged skin but also fight multiple types of cancer. Everybody knows I ain’t even fucking playing when it comes to dick cancer, I gotta have my shit in tact.

IF YOU SMOKE cigarettes (tumblr crew I’m looking at you), DO NOT take any Vitamin A or beta carotene supplements. Studies have shown that combining those supplements with tobacco drastically increases your risk for lung cancer. But then again, smoking drastically increases your risk for lung cancer. So quit that shit.

You want to make this shit at home and tell Jamba Juice they can go fuck themselves by not paying for their high calorie sugary shit? Recipe below for a Thug Kitchen Original:

SPINACH COOLER
Ectoplasm free and Dr. Venkman approved

2 handfuls of spinach (about 2 cups)

2 frozen bananas

1 cup chopped and skinned cucumber

4 medium chunks of pineapple

1 cup coconut water or tap

1/4 cup orange juice

1 tablespoon flax oil (optional)

6-8 mint leaves (optional, but I dig that shit)

yields ~20 ounces

Toss that shit in a blender and zap it. If you prefer it a little sweeter, add some more pineapple to that shit. DRINK UP, CHAMP.

Seriously though, fuck Jamba Juice. Only they could make smoothies as unhealthy as McDonald’s made oatmeal.

thugkitchen: I’M SO TIRED OF MOTHER FUCKERS asking “Where do...

Thu, 16 May 2013 12:28:44 -0500

thugkitchen:

I’M SO TIRED OF MOTHER FUCKERS asking “Where do you get your protein?” All you simple minded bastards better read up some. I eat shit like whole grains, beans, nuts, lentils, tempeh… I mean hell, where the fuck are YOU getting your protein? Black beans are one of my favorite protein sources for sure. The insoluble fiber these are packing keeps the body feeling full while holding calories down low. But hold up, this shit also has soluble fiber to regulate the fuck out of your glucose levels. So eat more black beans and sign some fucking autographs.

Black Bean and Cilantro Pesto Wrap

1 large bunch of cilantro, chopped, about 2 cups

2/3 cup slivered almonds

2-3 cloves of garlic, chopped

1 tablespoon lemon juice

½ teaspoon salt

½ teaspoon lemon zest (just grate the skin of the lemon on the smallest side of your grater, calm the fuck down)

¼ cup olive oil

¼ cup vegetable broth or water

Put all the ingredients for the pesto in a food processor and blend until sorta smooth. No food processor? Before I had one I’d just put the almonds in a bag and smash them until they are tiny and chop the rest of that shit up super small too. Mix all of it together with a fork until it looks like a paste.

This recipe makes about 1 cup of goddamn delicious pesto. I like about ¼ cup of it for every 1 ½ cups of beans. For the lazy bastards, one 15-ounce can of black beans is about 1 ½ cups. Just mix the beans together with the pesto and wrap that shit up with whatever vegetables you have like: cucumbers, tomatoes, red onion, lettuce, avocado, corn, you get the fucking idea. Add salsa or lime juice if you want. I don’t give a fuck.

thugkitchen: You might make some friends with this shit here....

Thu, 16 May 2013 12:25:26 -0500

thugkitchen:

You might make some friends with this shit here. Roasted strawberries and coconut flakes make this salad look classy as fuck but it’s still a choice delivery method for all that fiber and antioxidants. Make some room on your plate for this nutritious motherfucker.

We did this with our friends at FoodBeast. Check their shit out. I’ve been reading dessert recipes over there for the last hour, I should probably get back to work.

ROASTED STRAWBERRY SALAD

16 medium strawberries, about 1 pound

1 teaspoon olive oil

a pinch of salt

½ cup coconut flakes (you can use sliced almonds to save some cash)

¼ cup lemon juice

3 tablespoons red wine vinegar

3 tablespoons olive oil

a big bunch of basil, chopped into thin strips, about 2/3 cup

salt and pepper to taste

1 big head of lettuce (green leaf, spinach, butter, whatthefuckever kind of lettuce is fine)

Warm up your oven to 400 degrees. Cut the green tops off the strawberries and throw that shit out. Slice the berries in half lengthwise. Toss them in a bowl with the teaspoon of olive oil and salt. Mix that shit up good so everything is coated. Put the strawberries cut side down on a cookie sheet. I hate doing dishes so I usually cover the cookie sheet with foil or something because the strawberries can release some juice and it’s annoying as fuck to clean. Roast the strawberries for 10 minutes. Throw the coconut flakes in their own section on the cookie sheet and then roast them at the same time for 3 more minutes or until the coconut looks toasted. Let everything cool the fuck down to about room temperature.

Mix together the lemon juice, vinegar, and oil in a small glass. Toss the lettuce and the basil in a big bowl and add as much of the dressing, salt, and pepper as you like. Make sure everything is coated and then put the strawberries and coconut flakes on top. Arrange that shit so it looks nice. If you don’t feel like fucking with the oven then just leave the strawberries raw. I don’t give a shit JUST EAT A FUCKING SALAD or 10.

Serve 4 people as a side or 1 jolly green giant

Plant nachos.

Plant nachos tho.

thugkitchen: Five simple fucking ingredients in this bitch...

Thu, 16 May 2013 12:23:39 -0500

thugkitchen:

Five simple fucking ingredients in this bitch right here. This is some good shit to make when you are feeling bougie as fuck. High-fructose corn syrup? Naw son, I don’t play that. Hit this with some vodka though, different story. Max relax.

LAVENDER LEMONADE

5 cups of water

1/2 -3/4 cup sugar (yeah, it is fucking lemonade. without the sugar it is just real sour fucking water)

3/4 cup Meyer lemon juice, about 6 lemons (you can just use the regular lemons at the store too, not a dealbreaker)

juice of half a lime

4 sprigs of fresh lavender

Bring the water to a boil in a medium pot. Add the sugar and simmer that shit on a low heat for about 5 minutes. Make sure to stir it on the regular. The sugar should be all dissolved in the water by now with no little fucking grains rolling around in there. Turn off the heat and stir in the lemon juice, lime juice, and lavender. Let it cool until it is around room temperature. Take the lavender pieces out but use a fucking spoon and not your fingers if you are going to serve that shit to other people. Put the lemonade in the fridge to cool down all the way. Serve with lemon wedges and a pinch of dried lavender if you want it to look fucking impressive.

makes about 1 quart of chill the fuck out

Yes okay.

Sad Cat Diary (by zefrank1) JAMES!! JAMES!!!

Wed, 15 May 2013 15:06:54 -0500

Sad Cat Diary (by zefrank1)

JAMES!! JAMES!!!

man-and-camera: Within nature ➾ Luke Gram

Wed, 15 May 2013 00:41:55 -0500

man-and-camera:

Within nature ➾ Luke Gram

shutupjames: you are still too much.

Thu, 09 May 2013 16:36:51 -0500

shutupjames:

you are still too much.

Marina about the response to the “How To Be a Heartbreaker”...

Thu, 09 May 2013 16:36:24 -0500

Marina about the response to the “How To Be a Heartbreaker” video (x)

heyschoolgirl: Trivia team name perfection. Even if we don’t...

Thu, 09 May 2013 16:35:44 -0500

heyschoolgirl:

Trivia team name perfection. Even if we don’t win, we’ve won.

notkatniss: Kitty isn’t allow outside and she gets mad at us so...

Thu, 09 May 2013 16:35:30 -0500

notkatniss:

Kitty isn’t allow outside and she gets mad at us so she sits in the potted tree and pretends she is outside

bizarre-brain: By Lora Zombie.

Thu, 09 May 2013 16:34:45 -0500

bizarre-brain:

By Lora Zombie.

whatafuckinfamilypicture: First gays arriving in Roswell, New...

Thu, 09 May 2013 16:33:38 -0500

whatafuckinfamilypicture:

First gays arriving in Roswell, New Mexico in 1947

Photo

Thu, 09 May 2013 16:31:09 -0500

I will wear what I want. I will get tattoos if I want. I will wear makeup if I want. I will dye...

Thu, 09 May 2013 16:31:00 -0500

I will wear what I want.

I will get tattoos if I want.

I will wear makeup if I want.

I will dye my hair if I want.

I will pierce whatever I want.

I will shave what I want.

I will lose weight if I want.

I will gain weight if I want.

I will have sex if I want.

Stop telling me what to do with my body because I’m a girl.

so-tired-of-running: del0ppus: If someone ever tells you a certain song is important to them you...

Thu, 09 May 2013 16:30:52 -0500

so-tired-of-running:

del0ppus:

If someone ever tells you a certain song is important to them you should turn it up and lay on your bed and close your eyes and really listen to it even if its 10 minutes long because at the end you will know that person much better I think

My love for this post is unbelievable.

burncitybelle: Best hammock face #rats Eeee missy!!!!

Thu, 09 May 2013 16:30:41 -0500

burncitybelle:

Best hammock face #rats

Eeee missy!!!!

Photo

Thu, 09 May 2013 16:29:57 -0500